Before Baby #2 Arrives: How Supporting Your Firstborn’s Sleep Helps the Whole Family Thrive

Expecting Baby #2? Let’s Talk Sleep (Before Things Get Loud)

Bringing home a second baby is exciting — and it also comes with a big, important question: will what we’re doing now still work once the baby is here? When it comes to sleep, this matters more than most parents realize. Because there’s really nothing harder for a firstborn than seeing everything change overnight when the new baby comes home — especially the routines that help them feel safe, settled, and secure. And if part of you is already feeling guilty, torn between wanting to support your older child and knowing a newborn will demand so much of you, you’re in very good (and very normal) company.

Here’s the good news: there are a few smart, proactive things you can do before your new baby arrives that can make the transition smoother for everyone (including very tired parents).

1. If Your Firstborn Is Sleeping Well in a Crib, Keep Them There

This one is big, so let me say it clearly: do not rush your older child into a toddler bed just because you need the crib for the baby.

If your child is sleeping well in their crib, that crib is doing an excellent job. There is no prize for fixing something that isn’t broken. A few important reminders:

• Your new baby does not need a crib right away.
• A bassinet or pack‑and‑play is a perfectly safe and appropriate sleep space for many months.
• Transitioning to a toddler bed is a significant change, not just a furniture swap.

Moving to a toddler bed too early (especially during a time of big family change) often leads to:

• Bedtime battles
• Frequent night wakings
• Early morning wandering
• Nap battles

If your older child is happily contained and sleeping well, let them keep that win. Your future, sleep‑deprived self will thank you. And by the time baby actually needs a crib, your oldest will be more mature and developmentally ready for the transition to the big bed.

NOTE: if you decide to move your firstborn to a toddler bed before baby is born, make sure to do it several weeks before baby is due, so you have enough time to work through the transition before baby comes.

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2. Take an Honest Look at Your Firstborn’s Sleep Right Now

Before the baby arrives, ask yourself one important question: Will we realistically be able to keep doing this once there’s a newborn in the picture?

This isn’t about judgment — it’s about planning.

Some common situations I see:

• Only one parent can do bedtime or respond at night
• A parent needs to lie down with your child until they fall asleep
• Bedtime takes 60–90 minutes (or more)
• Your child sleeps in your bed most or all of the night
• Your child wakes up frequently at night and needs a lot of support to go back to sleep

If this is working for now but you know it won’t be sustainable with a newborn, this is your window to make changes.

3. Make Sleep Changes Weeks — Not Days — Before Baby #2 Arrives

Timing matters.

Trying to change sleep habits after the baby is born often feels overwhelming and emotionally charged for everyone involved. Your older child is adjusting to a huge life change, and you’re running on very little sleep. Plus, we don’t want your older child to think that things are changing because of baby.

Instead:

• Start making adjustments several weeks (or even months) before your due date
• Introduce changes gradually
• Give your child time to adapt and feel successful

For example:

• If your child expects both parents to be present during bedtime, practice having one parent handle it
• If only 1 parent who can do bedtime, start having both parents take turns
• If you stay in the room until your child falls asleep, work toward stepping out earlier
• If your child sleeps in your bed, begin transitioning them to their own space before the baby arrives

The goal isn’t perfection — it’s predictability and sustainability.

If you are not sure how to approach this, reach out so we can do it together!

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4. Remember: Supporting Your Firstborn’s Sleep Supports the Whole Family

Preparing your older child’s sleep ahead of time isn’t about forcing independence or rushing milestones. It’s about:

• Reducing stress during an already big transition
• Helping your child feel secure and capable
• Making sure you have the bandwidth to care for two children

When sleep is more predictable, everyone has more emotional capacity — and that matters so much during the early newborn days.

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5. Make a Clear Plan for Childcare and Sleep When You Go Give Birth

Before baby arrives, take some time to map out exactly what will happen with your firstborn when you go to the hospital. If your child will be staying with grandparents, family members, or close friends, planning ahead makes a huge difference.

Practice makes this so much easier. Whenever possible, have your child spend time alone with that caregiver ahead of time. Let them get comfortable with the environment and that person. They can practice parts of the routine they’ll experience (dropping at daycare, doing bedtime, etc.).

Even better? Try a practice sleepover, which will help:

• Your child feel safe and confident
• The caregiver learn your child’s sleep routine
• You spot any challenges before it really matters
• You will feel calmer on the actual day!

A practice run can turn a potentially stressful separation into something familiar and reassuring — for everyone involved.

A Final Thought (From Someone Who’s Seen This A Lot)

Preparing for baby #2 isn’t about making everything perfect — it’s about making things manageable.

When your firstborn’s sleep is predictable and supported, you’re not just helping them rest. You’re protecting their sense of safety during a big transition, giving yourself more emotional and physical bandwidth, and creating a calmer foundation for those early newborn days.

This kind of planning isn’t selfish. It’s thoughtful. It’s loving. And it’s one of the most powerful ways to help your whole family thrive as you grow from three to four.

If you’re expecting your second baby and wondering how to make sleep work for everyone, you don’t have to figure it out alone. Reach out here and let’s do it together.